Jacqui d'Eon - Blog , CommunicationJacqui d'Eon - Blog , Communicationhttps://www.jacquideon.com/blog/communicationSat, 11 Apr 2026 17:33:46 -0700http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[The Velvet Hammer: How to Be Kind and Direct]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/the-velvet-hammerOne skill I've quietly developed over the years is what I call "velvet hammer" writing. It's the art of crafting letters, announcements, and directions that are simultaneously kind (the velvet) and direct (the hammer).]]>
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One skill I've quietly developed over the years is what I call "velvet hammer" writing. It's the art of crafting letters, announcements, and directions that are simultaneously kind (the velvet) and direct (the hammer).


Lawyers love hammers. But in my experience, a little velvet gets issues resolved faster and with far less collateral damage than legal proceedings ever could.

Here are three tips and two scenarios to get you started.


Three Tips for Velvet Hammer Communication


Manage your emotions. Use your emotions to build empathy, not to launch personal attacks. The moment you call someone incompetent or lazy, you've lost them. This is a business issue. Treat it like one.


State the facts clearly. Tell people what you expected, how the product, service, or delivery fell short, and what you believe would be a fair resolution. Specifics matter here.


Stay open to an amicable solution. When you feel wronged, it's easy to assume you have the full picture. You rarely do. There are almost always mitigating factors on the other side.


Scenario 1: A Disappointing Product or Service


You bought something from an organization you trust and it didn't deliver. You want them to make it right.


The hammer approach? Demand a refund, threaten to walk, and move on. You might get your money back, but you'll also lose a supplier you valued.


The velvet approach starts with empathy: "I know this isn't how you like to do business. I value our relationship, which is exactly why I'm reaching out." Then get specific. Don't say "the product doesn't work." Say which feature failed, under what conditions, and what outcome you expected. Then tell them what you need and by when, and ask how they'd like to resolve it. That last part matters. People own solutions they help create.


Scenario 2: A Team Member Misses a Key Deadline


You gave this person the task because you believed in them. Now you're behind, and the frustration is real.


Here's the thing: your anger is a power tool right now, and not in a good way. Issuing ultimatums will get two people emotional and zero work done.


The velvet move is to state, calmly and clearly, exactly how difficult a position you're in and what needs to happen now. Direct your frustration at the situation, not the person. Then ask two questions: What got in the way? And what do you need to get this done?


The lessons-learned conversation? Save it for after the job is finished.


Ready to sharpen skills like this in a setting where you can practise without the real-world stakes? Leap to Leadership is a safe, confidential space to do exactly that. Let's talk.

]]>Tue, 24 Mar 2026 10:45:00 -0400<![CDATA[The Secret to Networking: Stop Trying to Get Something]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/the-secret-to-networkingI like to say my hobby is collecting people. It's a fun way of saying I genuinely enjoy networking.]]>
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I like to say my hobby is collecting people. It's a fun way of saying I genuinely enjoy networking. 

Friends and colleagues often come to me looking for help, and while I can't always solve their problem directly, I almost always know someone who can. A good introduction goes a long way.

Years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Michael J. Hughes, widely known as North America's Networking Guru. Michael dedicated his career to helping business professionals use networking as a strategic skill, and his insights have stuck with me long after we first connected.

Sadly, Michael passed away last year, but his wisdom is absolutely worth keeping alive. Consider this a small tribute.

Here are his 7 characteristics of effective networkers, with my take on each:

  1. Courageous. They take the initiative, which makes everyone around them more comfortable. My take: At receptions or cocktail parties, be the first to introduce yourself. It costs nothing and sets a great tone.
  2. Curious. They've cultivated genuine curiosity, making others feel seen and valued. My take: Curiosity doesn't kill anything. It opens doors to conversations and connections you never expected.
  3. Caring. They show real interest in others, which builds trust fast. My take: A simple way to show you care? Share an article on a topic you know someone is passionate about.
  4. Skilled communicators. They let the other person shine and actually listen. My take: Active listening is the whole game here.
  5. Value creators. They look for ways to highlight someone else's strengths and connect the dots. My take: If I'm at an event and someone new joins the conversation, I'll introduce them with a hook: "Jim, meet Barbara. Barbara, Jim is an avid golfer." Instant connection.
  6. Consistent. They take ownership of keeping relationships moving, even when progress feels slow. My take: This is the hard one. Not everyone responds right away, and that's okay. Relationships take time.
  7. Contribution-focused. They lead with giving, not getting. My take: I often feel like I give more than I receive early on, but when I reach out for help, my network shows up. That's not luck; that's the return on a genuine investment in people.

Michael's framework is as relevant today as ever. If you'd like help tapping into my network or exploring leadership development, I'd love to connect. Let's talk.
]]>Wed, 04 Mar 2026 05:45:00 -0500<![CDATA[The Recognition Formula That Actually Works]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/the-recognition-formula-that-actually-worksIn our fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up chasing the next goal and forget to celebrate the wins along the way. However, recognizing achievements isn't just nice to have.]]>
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In our fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up chasing the next goal and forget to celebrate the wins along the way.

However, recognizing achievements isn't just nice to have. It's a powerful motivator that fuels continued progress and creates the kind of workplace where people actually want to show up.

Identify the Moments Up Front


When you kick off a project, map out the milestones that matter. Then assign someone on the team to handle the celebration. Without this, trust me, the moment will pass you by. 

It's that simple: no owner equals no recognition.

Know What Will Be Appreciated


Recognition done wrong feels like punishment. Take time to learn how your team members prefer to be acknowledged. 

For some, a heartfelt thank you from the right person is gold. It signals that their effort matters and their work is significant. Others appreciate tangible tokens or gifts.

There's no one-size-fits-all here.

Deliver at the Right Time


Timing is everything. The closer your recognition is to the achievement, the more powerful it feels.

Instantaneous is ideal (though not always realistic). Wait too long and the moment passes. Late recognition can feel like an afterthought rather than genuine appreciation.

Use the Thank You Formula


When celebrating an achievement, help people understand exactly why they're being recognized. Here's a simple formula:
  1. Say thank you and name the specific action: "Sally, thanks for speaking up at today's meeting."
  2. Explain why it matters to you: "The points you raised are critical to the project, and I'm glad we had an opportunity to discuss them."
  3. Highlight their specific contribution: "You showed real courage in raising some potentially controversial topics, and your diplomacy in doing so was remarkable."
  4. Thank them again: "Thanks for making the meeting constructive and productive."

Of course, it's never too late to say thank you. But well-timed recognition builds stronger relationships and keeps momentum alive.
]]>Wed, 18 Feb 2026 14:15:00 -0500<![CDATA[Is the Art of Listening Lost?]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/lost-art-of-listeningIn a world where we communicate instantly and often in soundbites, the art of listening can feel like a relic of the past.]]>
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In a world where we communicate instantly and often in soundbites, the art of listening can feel like a relic of the past. It is one of the most powerful tools in a leader's kit, yet it is frequently the one we neglect most.

The Listening Gap


We are well into January 2026, and the digital landscape is noisier than ever. Between near-constant breaking-news updates and the endless ping of hybrid-work platforms, our attention is split into a thousand pieces.

Many leaders find that while their teams are "connected," they aren't actually communicating.

Real connection requires active engagement rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. In the Leap to Leadership program, we often see that the most effective managers are those who can quiet the noise to really hear their team's dreams and fears.

Five Rules for Active Listening


Active listening is a learned skill that creates a "people-first" culture. Following these five rules will help you cut through the static and build genuine trust with your colleagues.
  • Eliminate distractions. This means closing your email and putting your phone out of sight during conversations.
  • Stay in the moment. Focus on what is being said right now, not on rehearsing your witty comeback or response.
  • Ask questions to clarify. Ensure you understand the speaker's intent, not just their words.
  • Summarize your understanding. Try repeating the main points back in your own words to show you were paying attention.
  • Get confirmation. Let the speaker tell you if you actually got it right before you move on to solutions.

Leading with Intention


Mastering these rules transforms a conversation from a transaction into a strategic opportunity. Whether you are guiding a new hire or advising an executive, a little listening goes a long way in this hectic world.

If you want to sharpen your communication or find your unique leadership voice, consider taking the Leadership Edge assessment. It’s a great way to see how your behavioural "DNA" aligns with your career goals for 2026 and beyond.
]]>Wed, 28 Jan 2026 11:46:00 -0500<![CDATA[Make Your Message Matter]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/advice-for-new-leadersIf you’re stepping into a new leadership role, here’s the truth: communication isn’t a "soft skill" add-on; it’s one of the main levers you have.]]>
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If you’re stepping into a new leadership role, here’s the truth: communication isn’t a "soft skill" add-on; it’s one of the main levers you have.

McKinsey even put it on their new-CEO checklist: item 8 asks, "Have I thought through my communications plan—internal and external?"

Start with what you stand for

In the early days of a new role, it’s normal not to have your full strategy baked yet. (If you do, please share your secret.)

McKinsey’s "Letter to a newly appointed CEO" makes a great point: message consistency matters, and it can be smarter to anchor your communication in what you believe and what you stand for early on.

Those beliefs become the themes people repeat about you, long before they can quote your five-year plan.

Build your communication plan

As someone who’s served seven different CEOs as a communications advisor, one pattern shows up every time: leaders who treat communication as strategic tend to build trust faster.

A practical plan doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should answer:
  • What do people need to hear from you in the first 30–60 days?
  • What are you going to say (and say again)?
  • How will you know it landed?

Partner with your "microphone holder"

If you have a Chief Communications Officer (or a comms lead), make that relationship a priority.

They’re often your best window into what people are thinking, and they help you reach the organization with clarity.

A few ways that help:
  • Share your style (speaker, writer, small-group connector).
  • Be honest about what feels awkward so you don’t over-rely on the one channel you like most.

Choose the right channels

Different organizations trust different communication vehicles, and what worked at your last company may not work here.

Before you default to "Let’s do a video!", take time to learn what channels people actually pay attention to in your new environment.

Remember: every encounter is an event

Every meeting, hallway hello, or quick check-in is "an event" for the people you lead, especially when you’re new.

You don’t need one perfect speech. You need consistent moments.

Communicate. Follow through. Measure. Repeat.

This is the simple discipline that builds credibility:
  • Communicate
  • Follow through
  • Measure what’s working
  • Repeat
]]>Wed, 21 Jan 2026 10:25:00 -0500<![CDATA[Finding Your Voice]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/finding-your-voiceCommunication has two active states: speaking and listening. But speaking isn’t just about the words coming out of your mouth.]]>
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Communication has two active states: speaking and listening.

But speaking isn’t just about the words coming out of your mouth. It’s how you present yourself to your audience, whether that’s one person or thousands.

Your voice shows up everywhere. In presentations. Emails. Meetings. Social media posts. Media interviews. Even in how you write a memo.

Each one is an opportunity to be heard.

Finding Your Voice


Here’s what most people miss: voice isn’t just what you say.

It’s how you say it. The tone you use. The strength of your message. The format you choose. Whether you’re consistent or all over the place.

A lot of my facilitation work focuses on helping leaders find their voice. And yes, it’s something you have to find. It doesn’t just appear one day. 

The process sounds simple. Who are you talking to? What do they already believe? How do they like to receive information? What do you want them to know? What action do you want them to take? How will you know if it worked? 

Simple questions. Complex answers.

That’s where the real work happens.

Why This Matters


Over the years, I’ve worked with people and organizations to help them discover their voice.

Sometimes that means bringing in other experts. A presentation coach. A talented writer. A designer. A speech coach. Each person adds their magic to make sure the message lands.

One of my former bosses once told me, “Thank you for being my voice.” He believed that because I helped him find his voice, he succeeded as an executive. His message got stronger. His impact grew. 

That’s the power of knowing what you want to say and how to say it. 

The question is: have you found yours yet?

]]>Tue, 02 Dec 2025 09:17:00 -0500<![CDATA[Learning to Tame Your Triggers]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/learning-to-tame-your-triggersEveryone faces moments that send their temper into orbit. Sound familiar? When anger takes the driver’s seat, most of us don’t exactly morph into Zen masters.]]>
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Everyone faces moments that send their temper into orbit. Sound familiar? When anger takes the driver’s seat, most of us don’t exactly morph into Zen masters.

Handling emotions in the heat of the moment is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. 

A few simple strategies can help diffuse even the most volcanic reactions.

Spot Your Emotional State

First, ask yourself, “Where am I right now?” Try the stoplight trick, used with kids but handy at any age:

  • Green – all calm.

  • Amber – caution, something’s brewing.

  • Red – code red, emotions running the show.

Pausing to check your “light” helps you choose what to do next. If you’re in the red zone, it’s perfectly fine to step away and cool down. Leaders do that all the time. It’s called wisdom, not weakness.

Name, Claim, and Reframe

Before your response winds up starring in a workplace horror story, run through these three steps:

  • Name: Pinpoint what’s really setting you off. Is it about values or boundaries? Why are you reacting and not responding?

  • Claim: Decide how you would like to act. What facts do you really have? What words will keep the drama from escalating? What truly matters here?

  • Reframe: Look for a fresh perspective. What can I learn from this? Is there room to get creative instead of just defensive? What options are on the table, and could this trainwreck actually help you build your leadership muscles?

Leaders Rise Above

Mastering emotional triggers and having a plan of attack sets you apart—not just as a leader, but as someone who can be counted on when things get bumpy. 

It means choosing action over reaction and transforming obstacles into opportunities. 

Turns out, emotional smarts are just as important as strategic vision for levelling up in your leadership journey.

]]>Wed, 26 Nov 2025 12:24:00 -0500<![CDATA[The Silent Side of Leadership]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/the-power-of-nonverbal-communicationNonverbal cues don’t just support your message; they often decide how it lands. The classic “words vs. tone vs. body language” finding - also known as the 7-38-55 rule - gets misquoted a lot, but the core idea stands.]]>
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Nonverbal cues don’t just support your message; they often decide how it lands. The classic “words vs. tone vs. body language” finding - also known as the 7-38-55 rule - gets misquoted a lot, but the core idea stands: if your face, voice, and posture don’t match your intent, your audience won’t either.

Here’s a quick, practical tour of cues to watch and use so your message says what you mean.

Eyes

  • Your eyes signal whether you’re sharing straight facts or making a joke; align them with your intention to avoid mixed messages.
  • Sustained, warm eye contact builds trust, while darting eyes or a squint can read as evasive or skeptical.

Head position

  • A slight head tilt can soften statements into questions; the same tilt at the wrong moment can read as dismissive.
  • Think “Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada energy”: small head movements can convey status, judgment, or approval without a word.

Mouth

  • A smile can soothe or undermine; a grin during tense moments can look flippant, especially if you laugh when nervous. 
  • Neutral lips with a relaxed jaw communicate steadiness when delivering hard news.

Hand gestures

  • Face-touching, hair-smoothing, or covering your mouth can imply doubt or discomfort and shift how people interpret your words.
  • Open-hand gestures at waist level read as collaborative; fists, pointing, or crossed arms imply control, defence, or resistance.

Body position

  • In meetings, upright posture and a slight lean-in signal engagement; slouching or turning away signals disinterest. 
  • As a presenter, moving closer invites participation; staying anchored behind a table can create distance. 

Touch

  • Clutching an award, a firm handshake, or a brief hug communicates emotion and relationship norms that people will instantly interpret. 
  • Match your use of touch to context and culture to avoid sending unintended messages.

Grunts and sighs

  • Not quite words, but powerful: a sigh can signal relief, boredom, or frustration depending on timing and tone. 
  • Small vocalizations - “mm”, “uh-huh” - can reinforce warmth and listening or, if overdone, feel impatient. 

Try this week 

  • Pick one recurring conversation and record yourself on video. Watch with the sound off, then with sound on. Do the nonverbals match your message?
  • Choose one cue to adjust: slower nods, fewer face-touches, or a two-second pause before responding.
  • Ask a trusted peer for one micro‑feedback note after your next meeting: “What did my body language say?” 

When nonverbals align with your message, you’re clearer, more credible, and easier to follow, especially when the stakes are high.

Updated from a previous post published in April 2024.
]]>Wed, 05 Nov 2025 15:50:00 -0500<![CDATA[Telephonophobia]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/telephonophobiaText, email, and chat are preferred methods of communication, but in business, these aren’t always the most effective.]]>

Overcoming the hesitation or anxiety around making a phone call

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Growing up, I remember the constant battle at home to use the phone. And when you did get it, you dragged the cord as far as you could to get some modicum of privacy to talk to your friends…sometimes for hours.

Today, most of us carry a phone with us at all times. So it’s ironic that we talk on it less and less. Text, email, and chat are preferred methods of communication, but in business, these aren’t always the most effective.

Sure, some blame Gen Z, COVID-19, or introversion, but the truth is, phone aversion isn’t new. Even before texting and Slack, people avoided calls.

Many team members today experience “telephonophobia” – that hesitation or anxiety around picking up the phone.  But a quick, realtime conversation can often clear up issues and get agreement faster than a flurry of DMs can.

Overcoming Telephonophobia

Phones get a bad rep as time-wasters, irrelevant, or less efficient than email and chats. These myths often stem from misunderstanding and a lack of practical phone skills. Just like any tool, the phone can solve problems much faster than threads of emails when it’s used well.

My rule of thumb: If something takes more than 3 DMs or emails, it’s time for a meeting or a phone call.

By the way, making a call to someone these days is so novel, it can actually set you apart from others. Even if you have to leave a voicemail (horrors!) it shows the person on the other side that you are indeed human.

Use the Phone as a Tool

A phone call can be quick, scheduled as needed, and used as a tool to gain clarity. On a phone call, there’s no need for a camera like a Zoom or Teams meeting, it’s just voice conversation. 

When DMs and emails are firing at a rapid pace, ask the participants to get on the phone for a chat to get agreement on next steps. 

  • Strategic Scheduling: A quick text can set up a call and flag the issues to discuss, making the whole process feel more purposeful and less stressful. It also allows people to find a space where they can talk openly.

  • Clear Boundaries: Be upfront about timing. For example, “I’ve got 15 minutes for this call”. Then stick to it. Polite boundaries turn phone calls into focused, time-saving interactions.

  • Issue specific: Encourage team members to jot down key points or desired outcomes before making a call. This helps keep conversations on track and saves time.

Skills for Smooth Calls

  • Check-In First: Start every call with, “Is now a good time?” Respect for others’ time builds better working relationships.

  • Polite Interruptions: It’s okay to interrupt if someone’s going on too long. A gentle reminder about the time keeps things productive.

  • Follow Up: After the call, send a recap email to document decisions and next steps, keeping everyone aligned.

The Bottom Line

Text and email are great, but they have limits. The phone isn’t obsolete; it’s an underutilized tool. 

]]>Wed, 10 Sep 2025 17:17:00 -0400<![CDATA[Turning Criticism into Growth]]>https://www.jacquideon.com/blog/post/turning-criticism-into-growthIn a time when criticism can feel louder and more personal than ever, learning to accept and grow from feedback is a vital leadership skill.]]>
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In a time when criticism can feel louder and more personal than ever, learning to accept and grow from feedback is a vital leadership skill.

No matter how open-minded we are, negative feedback can sting. It’s natural to feel defensive or even angry when criticized, especially in a world where public scrutiny and polarized opinions are everywhere. But how we handle criticism can define our personal and professional growth.


Pause Before You React

When negative feedback lands, your first instinct might be to react -- either by berating yourself or blaming the messenger. Instead, take a moment to breathe. Thank the person for their honesty, and give yourself space to reflect. 

Sometimes, talking it over with a trusted friend or colleague can help you see the feedback in a new light.


Get Curious, Not Defensive

It’s human to feel threatened by criticism, but curiosity can turn a painful moment into a learning opportunity. Ask yourself: What can I learn here? Are there blind spots I haven’t noticed?

Seeking out the nugget of truth -- even in harsh feedback -- can help you grow and strengthen your relationships.


Take Action and Model Openness

Not all criticism will be fair or actionable, but much of it offers a chance for improvement. Use feedback as a springboard for discussion and development. When you respond with appreciation rather than anger, you’re not just helping yourself, you’re setting an example for your team.

 In today’s climate, where trust and communication are often in short supply, modelling healthy feedback habits can make a real difference.


Be Kind to Yourself

Accepting feedback graciously isn’t easy. Celebrate your successes, and when you fall short, remember that growth is a journey. Give yourself the same empathy you offer others.


If you’re looking to strengthen your relationship with criticism -- and your team --let’s talk.

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