Jacqui d'Eon - Blog #nonverbal communication

The Silent Side of Leadership

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 15:50:00 -0500

Nonverbal cues don’t just support your message; they often decide how it lands. The classic “words vs. tone vs. body language” finding - also known as the 7-38-55 rule - gets misquoted a lot, but the core idea stands: if your face, voice, and posture don’t match your intent, your audience won’t either.

Here’s a quick, practical tour of cues to watch and use so your message says what you mean.

Eyes

Your eyes signal whether you’re sharing straight facts or making a joke; align them with your intention to avoid mixed messages.
Sustained, warm eye contact builds trust, while darting eyes or a squint can read as evasive or skeptical.

Head position

A slight head tilt can soften statements into questions; the same tilt at the wrong moment can read as dismissive.
Think “Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada energy”: small head movements can convey status, judgment, or approval without a word.

Mouth

A smile can soothe or undermine; a grin during tense moments can look flippant, especially if you laugh when nervous.
Neutral lips with a relaxed jaw communicate steadiness when delivering hard news.

Hand gestures

Face-touching, hair-smoothing, or covering your mouth can imply doubt or discomfort and shift how people interpret your words.
Open-hand gestures at waist level read as collaborative; fists, pointing, or crossed arms imply control, defence, or resistance.

Body position

In meetings, upright posture and a slight lean-in signal engagement; slouching or turning away signals disinterest.
As a presenter, moving closer invites participation; staying anchored behind a table can create distance.

Touch

Clutching an award, a firm handshake, or a brief hug communicates emotion and relationship norms that people will instantly interpret.
Match your use of touch to context and culture to avoid sending unintended messages.

Grunts and sighs

Not quite words, but powerful: a sigh can signal relief, boredom, or frustration depending on timing and tone.
Small vocalizations - “mm”, “uh-huh” - can reinforce warmth and listening or, if overdone, feel impatient.

Try this week

Pick one recurring conversation and record yourself on video. Watch with the sound off, then with sound on. Do the nonverbals match your message?
Choose one cue to adjust: slower nods, fewer face-touches, or a two-second pause before responding.
Ask a trusted peer for one micro‑feedback note after your next meeting: “What did my body language say?”

When nonverbals align with your message, you’re clearer, more credible, and easier to follow, especially when the stakes are high.

Updated from a previous post published in April 2024.

Leaders Lead More than People

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 12:34:44 -0400

Strong leaders don’t just manage people; they also ensure that systems run smoothly. Understanding and optimizing your organizational processes is an essential practice of effective leadership.

Here are five key steps to strengthen your workplace processes:

1. Engage with Direct Reports

Ask each direct report to walk you through their workflow. By listening and observing, you gain real insight into daily challenges, spot inefficiencies, and offer more targeted support.

2. Facilitate Collaboration

Bring together employees with similar tasks to analyze their workflows collectively. Combining best practices into a shared process not only improves efficiency but also builds ownership and teamwork.

3. Document with SOPs

Turn the optimized workflow into a Standard Operating Procedure (SOP). A clear, step-by-step guide ensures consistency and quality, and saves time onboarding new team members.

4. Build Accountability

Hold staff accountable for following the SOP. Regular check-ins and feedback sessions reinforce consistency while creating space to address challenges early.

5. Review and Refine

Spend time observing the new process in action, gather feedback after 30 days, and make adjustments. Updating SOPs regularly keeps processes aligned with reality and supports continuous improvement.

Healthy leadership means treating process improvement as an ongoing habit, not a one-off exercise.

By engaging your team, fostering collaboration, documenting clearly, ensuring accountability, and reviewing progress, you create a culture of both efficiency and empowerment where people and processes thrive together.

Keep Calm and Resolve Disputes

Wed, 09 Apr 2025 11:14:32 -0400

Let’s face it - having a calm, civil discussion about hot topics these days feels like an uphill battle.

We live in a country that values free speech, yet it’s becoming harder and harder to talk about opposing views without things getting heated. Instead of aiming for understanding or finding common ground, it often feels like the goal is just to prove the other person wrong.

Social media doesn’t help either. It amplifies our differences and traps us in echo chambers where we only hear from people who agree with us. That’s why now, more than ever, the ability to truly listen is critical.

Listen to Understand

In my presentation skills workshops, we practice answering questions thoughtfully. I always remind attendees: listen to understand, not just to respond or as Stephen R. Covey said, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

As a leader, listening without bias is essential when managing disputes. This means hearing all sides completely and impartially.

Be mindful of your body language too. Simple gestures like nodding or saying "I see" might unintentionally signal agreement and could escalate tensions instead of easing them.

Practice Active Listening

Listening isn't just about hearing words or being silent while others speak; it's about engaging. Active listening means asking questions, clarifying points, and confirming you've understood what's being said.

Only when you fully grasp the perspectives (and the emotions behind them) can you guide people toward a solution that works for everyone. Plus, active listening builds trust - a key ingredient in resolving conflicts effectively.

Stay Neutral

This is probably the hardest part of mediating disputes as a leader: staying neutral. Your role isn't to pick sides; it's to guide everyone toward resolution. Show empathy, but don't let it sway your impartiality.

Dig Deep

When you're helping resolve a conflict, don't just rely on what people say - do some digging. Investigate the facts and get a clear picture of the situation. By taking the time to research independently, you'll be better equipped to make informed decisions about next steps.

Keep Your Cool

Emotions can run high during disputes, and tempers can flare quickly. As a leader, your ability to stay calm can make all the difference.

One great technique is mirroring - slow down your speech and keep your tone even and composed. People tend to unconsciously match your energy, so this can help de-escalate tension.

And sometimes a simple timeout works wonders. Whatever you do, avoid shouting - nothing productive comes from yelling matches.

Leadership means navigating conflicts with grace and reason. By listening impartially, staying calm, and grounding yourself in facts, you can help guide your team through even the toughest disputes.